I have never been able to say, "Oh, he's my compliant one," or "He's a strong willed child." All of my kids go through phases where they are very sweet and obedient, then they turn rude and obstinate. Just when I am adjusting to one behavior pattern, the child changes drastically.
Sometimes I take their bad moods personally, feeling that if I did a better job of entertaining them they would always act happy. When they are happy, I often pat myself on the back for providing a loving environment where my children can act their best. Both responses are wrong, expressing a belief in the myth that perfect parenting creates perfect children.
Turtle and I have been studying the Old Testament in depth this semester with My Father's World 1st grade. Over and over, we see righteous leaders raised from families steeped in deception and malice. Rebekah encouraged Jacob to steal his brother's livelyhood; Jacob favored Joseph to the exclusion of his other children; some of Jacob's sons disposed of their brother because of envy; and as a child of God, I often disappoint my heavenly parent.
In the Bible, God lays out his expectations for parents, to bring up children "in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4) and to impress on them the commands of the Lord (Deuteronomy 6:7). As my children grow and struggle with sin that causes them to behave in a disrespectful way, it is my job to teach them how to accept God's amazing grace constantly, not relying on our own ability to do what is right but to accept God's gift of grace and to boast only in that.
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